Thursday, March 4, 2010

You Hid There Last Time, You Know We're Gonna Find You

Fitter, Happier isn't exactly aging gracefully. Never a day would pass without a post whether training or music related. Now days pass, even weeks. Energy and motivation are a true reflection of ones state of mind and presence. So its pretty easy to guess how I'm feeling right now. The quite desperation of an athlete is kind of sad. However, with that being said, I don't miss the raised hands breaking the tape or the local interview, I miss feeling normal and enjoying my favorite thing in the world (outside of being front row at a Radiohead concert) which is going running. How can I explain to someone who doesn't understand? I mean, most people think we're mad running 10 or 15 miles everyday. They can't comprehend it. And even more, they can't comprehend how someone can literally be at their lowest ebb when they can't do it!

Despite the quite desperation I feel Fitter, Happier, More Productive still has the lights on because frankly so do I. The fire doesn't burn out and there is a light that never, never goes out. I am working extremely hard at rehab. Everyday hitting the ultra sound, the ice, the exercises (so slow and painfull) and the deep tissue massage. I'm investing in getting this right. Racing is not part of the plan for the near future but optimism abounds and joy is raging deep down inside.

I enjoyed a night out with Kenny White and we watched PC narrowly loose to 18th ranked Pitt. A great game that I loved watching, but more than that I snapped out of the really dark place I was in because I didn't think about how crap I feel. Maybe the treatment is working and I'm actually feeling better, who knows. Tomorrow morning I'll be back in therapy at 6:30 and the dream will still be alive.

Passion Pit remixed Two Door Cinema Club and its so cheesy yet so awesome and happy. Its been on regular rotation at work, in the car, and at home.

Love Kel


  1. Kel,

    Keep up the blogging. I, and many other people I know check it very regularly! Keep up the good work!

  2. Thanks, Keith. I too have been struggling and your dedication has been inspiring. Sometimes it's not what we do for ourselves, but for others. Your strength and talent has never been your running but how much love and kindness you have. Soon everything will be in its right place:-)

  3. Hi Keith, can i just say, for an athlete who has been struggling big time with injuries also, i've found your blog inspiring and comforting. It's too easy when you're injured to think you're the only one in the world going through this, but it's good (in a weird way) to know that someone else out there is struggling also with the same, angry, emotions. Hope you see you back eventually, injuries have given me a new appreciation for how much i love it, especially when the weather gets better, as it is now. It's sickening! Good luck and hang in there!

  4. Nothing that pretend to age gracefully completely manages to hide the cracks of time and the penalty of hangovers, even when the façade has a fresh coat of paint. What we all, especially those that know you, expect to see on this sight, rather than happy rants of hammered runs and perfect bliss are passionate rants of those things that you have done, want to do, will be doing or are planning to try to do. Inside of even the depressed bloggings of missed days, focus-splitting pain and disappointment, we find a passion and a zest that so many of us what as a part of us. In my case for sure, there are things for which I have a passion, but to be able to exude that passion even under the stress of disappointments and worries, that is what you give. To age with beauty is a lie, to age with grace is to pretend the body and the cordination doesn't slowly give way, but to offer what you have, when you have, is, maybe, the simplest definition of truth. Let your blog age, let a few days go by, but also let your passion continue to live inside your circle so that it makes its way back arround to you again. There is very little I would rather be doing right now in Paris than having a drink with a few good friends. I am having a whiskey now with one and I am not disappointed, and I am sure that the next time we sit down for a pint, we will manage a smile and force out a topic for the next entry in the blog. I appreciate the metafor of the aging of fitter and happier, and for that I know that it ages with everything you could expect, including a depth and a perspective that maybe weren't there 12 months ago.