Fitter, Happier isn't exactly aging gracefully. Never a day would pass without a post whether training or music related. Now days pass, even weeks. Energy and motivation are a true reflection of ones state of mind and presence. So its pretty easy to guess how I'm feeling right now. The quite desperation of an athlete is kind of sad. However, with that being said, I don't miss the raised hands breaking the tape or the local interview, I miss feeling normal and enjoying my favorite thing in the world (outside of being front row at a Radiohead concert) which is going running. How can I explain to someone who doesn't understand? I mean, most people think we're mad running 10 or 15 miles everyday. They can't comprehend it. And even more, they can't comprehend how someone can literally be at their lowest ebb when they can't do it!
Despite the quite desperation I feel Fitter, Happier, More Productive still has the lights on because frankly so do I. The fire doesn't burn out and there is a light that never, never goes out. I am working extremely hard at rehab. Everyday hitting the ultra sound, the ice, the exercises (so slow and painfull) and the deep tissue massage. I'm investing in getting this right. Racing is not part of the plan for the near future but optimism abounds and joy is raging deep down inside.
I enjoyed a night out with Kenny White and we watched PC narrowly loose to 18th ranked Pitt. A great game that I loved watching, but more than that I snapped out of the really dark place I was in because I didn't think about how crap I feel. Maybe the treatment is working and I'm actually feeling better, who knows. Tomorrow morning I'll be back in therapy at 6:30 and the dream will still be alive.
Passion Pit remixed Two Door Cinema Club and its so cheesy yet so awesome and happy. Its been on regular rotation at work, in the car, and at home.