Be A War Child Form A Circle

After taking yesterday off I hoped my knee would feel better but it didn't, its just as bad if not worse. I ran an easy 35 minutes around the Green Street trail to see if easy running on soft trails would be cool. It wasn't a complete failure but it wasn't great either. More of that going through the motions stuff that never ends positively. The whole concept of going through the motions does my head in. It lacks any passion or spontaneity. It is as good as giving up, accepting that life offers nothing great and to use a Radiohead lyric, we are all reduced to not living but killing time. The same is true in running and I don't want to go down that road of getting through a few painful miles here and there because I can tolerate it. It takes the fun away and once the fun is gone whats the point? I accept that like many runners I'm addicted to the activity. I am addicted to racing and very addicted to the pain associated with hard training. But it is not all I am and sometimes when I am limping around a trail or down a road because I can't deal with not running I question myself. What is my plan or at the very least what do I hope to achieve by further damaging my body. Should I not spend that time in the gym working on getting things stronger, something that will help rather than hinder. Should I spend the time doing yoga, or having a nap. I know these are things that will help but I always go down the road of choosing activity either in the form of running or biking. So maybe it is all I am. Maybe I'm in denial that at 32 slowly something I love is being taken away. When I was running at my best in 2000/01 and 2003, I used to take days off all the time. Ray would have me take 3 recovery days between sessions and I loved it. I didn't really care if I had to miss a morning run. But now its like a race against time. I can't bare to miss a session and even though I do take days off the anxiety is still present. I turn to my favorite pass time outside of training which is hearing live music and that helps a lot. So anyway, while I suffer through a down week to let the inflammation go down in my knee I need to really think about the bigger picture. Do I want to still deal with this pain everyday or do I move on and start a new challenge, taking on more of what living has to offer. To quote the wonderful poet Morrissey, "There are brighter sides to life, and I should know because I've seen them, but not very often". I have seen them often and I know there are brighter sides so its time to bring them back. Few days off will help, and it will bring back the positivity that is missing right now.

Love Kel

They Keep Erasing All The Streets We Gre Up In

I just got back from an Arcade Fire show that lived up to the hype many times over. The Bank Of America Pavilion is not one of my favorite venues in Boston. I find the seats to be very sterile and they contribute to a pretty dull atmosphere. In the case of a show like Sigur Ros it doesn't make a difference, that show is all about listening. Some of the other shows I've been to in BOAP were not sold out and the crowd was chatting with lots of background noise by people who decided to "check out" the gig, maybe not knowing any of the wonderful music being played. Seeing Feist was a real let down because she was awesome but the idiots who decided to treat the gig like a pub show were muppits. I didn't build up this gig at all expecting it to be great music but shitty everything else. Not the case at all. Volume is always an issue, the venue is just not loud, but the crowd, the atmosphere, the passion were all very evident and alive. The people around me either sang the songs or got taken away to a different place. I thought Arcade Fire were magnificent. They opened with one of my favorite songs from the new album, "Ready To Start", and from there it was all new tunes spattered with old favorites. By the second half of the show we got the classics; "Rebellion", "Neighborhood #3" (Power Out), and an amazing closer in Wake Up. The new songs sounded really tight live and even though the album just came out that day everyone around me knew the words to all the songs. I'm not the only one who stole an early copy that was making the rounds online. I'd give the gig a solid 8/10.

One of the issues that contributed to my average mood was the pain in my knees. I really messed up this weekend. It kicked off on Saturday morning with a 3 hr ride. I felt amazing and really strong so when I got home I jumped off the bike and immediately ran 3 miles for no reason. I felt great and was running 5:30 pace, hence why I stopped at 3. I knew I was doing damage so I took it easy for the rest of the day and hung with Myles at the downcity arts and music festival. Went to Garden Grille for a few scoops and hit the bed early. I planned on doing my longest run this morning and I was very fired up. I hit the road with my Garmin (first time I've wore it running in over a year) just to get an idea of the pace I was running. I didn't look at it until about 8 miles which I hit in 46 flat. Right at that point my left knee, the one with the real problem and the one that's actually been pretty good started hurting bad. I needed to stop so took a short cut and ran home. Ended up with 56:40 for 10 miles (pace felt easy) and two swollen knees. My femur and tibia bones have been kissing for the last year but today they made out big time and now the femur has a bruise right where the defect is. I know I'll need time off again. I am an idiot but truly felt that if I run a steady 10 miler it would be find. Everything up to this point has been 45 minutes with the occasional hour and I've only felt my right knee. Now I am limping on each leg.

On a positively positive note, the video below, while not great, captures some of the wonderful energy from the show. The set was too short but for the 90 or so minutes they played things were a little better. Interpol next Thursday, so excited for round 3 with Paul and the lads.

Love Kel

Time Is Like A Broken Watch

On Friday the Reebok crew pushed the envelope a little more than usual and we ran for one hour. We pushed the paced from the start even if it was just coxy taking the piss by pretending to hammer from the gun. When Ryan thought he may actually be serious he bridged the gap leaving Dan and I straggling about 50 meters back. They kept it up for the first 2 miles before they were cooked and decided to wait. But what it did was it meant our easy pace was still faster than usual and when we added on through Houghtons pond the joy of running fast engulfed everyone and we basically started fartlek training over the last few miles. So much happiness and joy. Knee was 6 out of 10 on the pain scale and got worse in the afternoon but not so bad that it took anything away from the wonderful run. When I got home I jumped on the bike and did a short session that I didn't time. I was tired and bored after so I went to the Wild Colonial and met up with Brien Lang for a pint of Dog Fish Head 60 minute IPA. Twas lovely. While I sit here I have to admit that my left knee is feeling a little sore. The bone on bone issue I get as a result of my osteochondral defect is actually bothering me for the first time in many months. I now have 2 very sore knees - not great.

It's fair to say that I am going to bed in a pretty dull mood. The house is quite but the noise in my head is very loud. I needed to revisit some of the old reliable tunes to ease me into a blissful sleep. Usually when searching for answers I needn't go further than Moz. He always tells it as it is. Real + Honest.

Love Kel

-one of my all time favorite songs. never gets old or tired or normal.

Full Speed Half Blind

Nice one. On Wednesday at lunch time myself, Dan and Ryan ran Ponky. Nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual lunchtime run. Except Ryan decided to do his best Alberto Contador impression and started hammering. Deep down inside I was really happy about this because I have wanted to attempt some faster running to see how my knees would react. When i say hammering, it must be used in the context of our current fitness levels. We may have dipped under 6 minute pace over the last 2 miles, not fast by any means but fast for a group of dudes struggling with all sorts of ailments. We got back to the track and I felt fantastic and over-joyed at how things felt. About an hour later that joy dissipated when BOTH my knees started aching. Got home earlier than usual so jumped on my bike and did a 2 hour ride with some hill repeats up burlingame that hit the spot. Knees still felt sore and my energy was really lacking. In fact, it would be fair to say that I felt horrible over the last 30 minutes. Everything was hurting and I had zero energy. All in all a great day of training.

It was important for me to get a good day in on Wednesday since yesterday I went to NYC for the day - early train down, later train back. No training, although my bike punctured on the way to the station so I had to run back to the house in panic mode and get my car.

Interpol played on david letterman last night. Solid performance of "barricade" and worth staying up for. The video is below. I bought my ticket to see them in NYC on November 5th which will be awesome since it ends their NA tour and I'll be down in the city for the NYC marathon anyway. good stuff. So thats the buzz. Today will be a good day,

Love Kel

Mountains Beyond Mountains

Missing Tuesday night smackdown was a bit of a bummer. I got on my trainer and did some intervals and since it was after 8pm when I started starvation took over and I limited my session to about 1 hour of work. Earlier in the day Dan Mazz and I did a loop of Ponky nice and easy. So for what was supposed to be a challenging day of work with limited time I still managed almost 2 hours of training. I am not keeping a diary and certainly not posting daily on this site (I have no idea why) so I don't really know what I'm doing or what my plan of attack is. Not committing to a training program has been very purposeful. On any given day I can do 3 hours of exercise but more often I do about 30 minutes of terrible exercise laced with a good dose of pain. I have no energy to complain because it would be a daily occurrence. With that said, I am running more so I should kind of track what I'm doing even if it is slow. I must be fairly fit in the general sense.

The Interpol show from the weekend was outstanding. Toad's Place in New Haven is small and like the gig in Rochester the show had a bit of a pub band feel. I moved around a lot, standing up near the front for a while and then seeking better sound I moved towards the back. The speakers aren't the may west but Interpol made it work. The set list was similar to Rochester with an additional new song in the main set and "Stella Was A Diver, And She Was Always Down" added to the encore. I love that song. They ended with "Not Even Jail" again and the crowd loved it. Only one song from "Our Love To Admire", once again proving that they really didn't think much of the work. The crowd were shouting for "Rest My Chemistry" and I wondered what Paul was thinking. At one point it was deafening. I guess this one group really wanted to hear it. Overall, the Rochester gig was better. Sound was better and the crowd didn't keep chanting for songs that they would obviously not play. I wonder if it ever works? I never understood shouting requests. Its called a SetList lads!

As much as I tried to avoid grabbing an early copy of the new Arcade Fire I couldn't deal with people talking about it anymore. I don't feel bad about downloading it because I will buy a hard copy on Aug 3rd and perhaps a t-shirt at the gig that I'm going to in Boston. Premature evaluation is that the album is very good. I expected it to be good but didn't expect the new instrumentation displayed amazingly well on the song below, "Sprawl II (mountains beyond mountains)" which is fantastic and my fav from the album so far. It sounds like a song Blondie or Siouxsie and the Banshees could have sang. Regine Chassagne (Butler’s wife) sings “Living in the sprawl, Dead shopping malls rise like mountains beyond mountains, And there’s no end in sight”, and I love this theme. Very emotive and catchy. Loving "Ready To Start"as well. The album is immensely exciting and I can't wait to give it many listens over the next few weeks.

Love Kel

As If You Didn't Know That It Would Sting

Tuesday night means Mark Nicholson Smack Down and I was in the mood for punishment. Inflicting pain on ones self is considered deviant behavior or even psychotic but when it comes to training it is encouraged. I might get a little too much enjoyment out of it (note chronic injuries for 10 years) and tonight was no exception. We had a solid group of 9 riders and the pace was uptempo from the start. I did the long false flat pull out of town and for some reason didn't want anyone else to lead. An attempt at a pull through just encouraged me to up the pace. The group fractured at after the first long climb and I felt bad because the goal is not to break the group up early, I was just in the mood for some hurt. The result of the early pace was such that I could not participate in the first sprint line as I felt since I pushed the pace I should go back and pick up the last guy and pull him up to the group. Once we regrouped I got back in front where I'm comfortable and pulled hard, actually breaking away until the second regroup spot. Onto Tourtellot hill I went hard with Aaron on my wheel for a bit. I put the head down and ended up having good legs, enough to break off the front by about 40 seconds. Ont he way back into town the strongest riders all took turns at the front. I am still amazed at the difference between pulling and drafting on the bike. GeWilli would go past me in a big gear and put 20 meters on me instantly. I would have to pull all the stops to get back up to him. I certainly lack power and peddling efficiency. I noticed that I spin a lot more than everyone else keeping my chain in the small ring on the front unless I'm descending. This is because I don't have the strength to ride big ring and I don't know if my 100 rpm is efficient? Lots to learn. Overall, a fantastic ride and I am pretty annoyed that I'm going to miss the next couple.

Next week I see Interpol in concert for the second time this year. I suffered an anxiety attack when I realized that I won't see Wolf parade again this year and maybe not again for several years. This displays two significant things. 1. Wolf Parade are AMAZING live and 2. I have to accept that I am a bit of an uber fan. It will be nice to see Interpol again to change things up, I do after all consider them one of my favorite bands. I've posted the video for new Interpol song "Lights" and now we get another Interpol single. This was played when I saw them in Rochester and no doubt will be played again in New Haven. It has a "Slow Hands" feel to it. Building in vocals and instrumentation with lots of layers, harmony and emotion. I love it.

Peace,

kel

Little Vision Come Shake Me Up

Awesome weekend of training and recovery. It kicked off with a trip out to central MA for a medium long ride around Quabben Rez with Ben P. The thing is, the heat beat the crap out of the two of us. 90 degrees and steep climbs make for tough times. I set out hard in order to give both of us a very painful day and seeing as I am stronger than Ben on the bike right now I felt I obliged to take the lead and pull, pull, pull. However, in my leading I forgot to drink for the first 50 minutes. It was only when Ben noticed that my bottles were untouched that he rolled up next to me on a decent and told me I was going to be in trouble if I didn't start drinking asap. I am an amateur when it comes to nutrition on the bike. It definitely hurt me later in the ride but overall I was strong and my climbing was very satisfying. By the end we were both done for and on the last climb which was about four or five minutes long I bonked. I got to the top and waited for Ben, who may have been stronger in the last 10 miles than me, and when I saw him I was draped over handle bars seeing stars. We only had a .5 mile downhill back to the car so it was all good, as was the pizza I ate afterward and the cans of coke I washed it down with. The ride was only about 66 miles but the heat, the 4500 feet of climbing, and the pace was enough to flog me. Bliss really. I came home and listened to the new Klaxons song about 20 times. The video is below but it may get removed since that seems to be the buzz lately. I mean, record companies try to prevent people from promoting their bands. That's why they all suck, that's why people steal music, and that's why bands are now using independent labels or releasing music themselves. Having said that they may not remove it but I stand by my comments. I love you all,

Kel